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Funeral HomesTheir voices are guarded
Shields over their souls
As the scramble about the building marked with decaying shells
"She never even said goodbye."
I don't want to breatheAs I wilted
I reminded myself to savor the moment
To take the memory with me
Because it was the last second
Through my eyes;
The travail thoughts I go through
Attenuate my moral adviser
Leaving me with a feeling of complete numbness
Towards you and your
I am sure it isn't morally acceptable
Yet I question
The depth of this apathy
Apparently it is very much possible
To not care.
In my own skin;
Its frightening to find that
The camaraderie of my demons
Is more enjoyable
Than the vacancy I experience
In the company of friends.
The CursorThe cursor mocks me
It's been like this for months
I should have the words to say
But silence is the only sound I'm met with
The only sound I can make
The only words
I have to say
The shell of who I used to be
My soul slipping through the cracks
I am changing
Can live the life currently lain out in the unclear path ahead of me
I won't dwell on the past
I can't change it
I won't worry about the future
I can't see it
I only know of what is now
The current of the present
I exist in the moment
And before that moment will pass
I have to do this
I waited for months to speak
Waited weeks for the words to come
As if they would be an epiphany
And just magically
They never came and I had to make due
With the words of the moment
Knowing that regret is foolish
I spoke with the experience I have now
The sounds of a changing soul
I am not the same person
I will never be who I used to be
As I sit here typing
Thinking of al
If Only I Could ForgetThere are
For their actions.
And I have learned
it is better to leave them be
Rather than try to fix
What will always be
The Messanger I don't know who you are
Or what you've been through
Or how your life has unfolded
But please know
That I love you.
I love your smile.
I love your laugh.
I love every last goddamned piece of you
And if any piece of you were to disappear
I would mourn.
My Heart In Green LettersTo the powers
Higher than I can see
Please understand that I
Have tried my best to live in this mortal form
A simple soul who dreams far past the healthy amount
And subsequently failed
To be comfortable in my skin.
I've marked it with red,
Written prophecies spoken to me in my sleep
Amongst my veins
Burned the images of fantasy
Into the pigment
I am not who I want to be
And the reflection frozen before me
I can't stand to look at
But I have tried
As they all have asked me too
I have made many attempts
Not to let the world see the truth in my bones
The being I was made to be
It's been difficult and I'm sure you know
My prayers have been constant and frequent
As I tried to become something that please those around me
And here I am
Raising my palms to you in acceptance
Offering you what is left of my sanity
Pleading that you will once more bless me with light
So that I may see the path ahead of me
And quit my dancing in the dark.
P.S: I was going to
Sollux x Reader: Rolling with the Dead 1Chapter 1
The male troll hissed slightly in his sleep, his face twisted up in displeasure as his name was spoken softly, echoing from deep within the tissue of his brain.
A growl produced from his mouth as his lips curled over his sharp teeth, his eyes shutting together tightly as he pushed the pillow around his head to cover his ears. He didn't want to hear the voices right now- er, voice, whatever the fuck it was, he still didn't want to hear it right now.
He growled again, his features tightening all over his body as he rebelled against listening to the voice. He had spent sweeps of his time hearing voices and he had not come this far to have them start up again. Oh no. He was done with that shit. Completely. Done.
'Sollux, I know you can hear me.'
Sollux growled loudly, his own voice echoing through his empty hive, and rolled over on the newly bought couch he had been laying down on. He had been trying
I'm left with hope.I know it happened once, but it left me scarred
I won't give up, but I'm still afraid
But I will be brave, I just hope it won't happen again
Because I'm not sure I'll be able to handle the pain
It feels like all I can do is hope, for the best days.
Wasted Words.Wasted Words.
We wait for the last possible moment.
Even when confronting our opponents.
How we truly feel.
We hide behind our counterfeit expressions.
Conceal and contain our countless confessions.
Failing to announce,
What our mouths long to pronounce.
We purposely squander opportunities.
Maintaining our positions within our communities.
Avoiding any disclosure,
Reducing the risk of exposure.
We use humour to dilute what we actually say.
Because the truth does not have to be revealed today.
We know there always is a tomorrow,
So today has not got to be filled with sorrow.
We wait and wait.
Stall and prolong.
Until it’s too late
And the moment has gone.
There is never a convenient time.
For us to say what is really on our minds.
It takes the sight of a death bed.
We Are/You Aren'tWe are the unwanted, the broken
The ones you forgot about.
So don't be too surprised when we
Start to scream and shout.
We are the living, the dying
The ones you all put down.
But you'll know who we are when we
Run this goddamn town.
We are the corpses, the maggots
The ones you all despise.
But you'll be the ones scared when we
Expose all your lies.
We are the hunted, the lost
The ones you all spurn.
But you'll cry for our help when we
Leave you all to burn.
We are the losers, the winners
The ones that you deny.
But you'll be the ones damned when we
Hear the angels cry.
If I....If I hugged you,
would you never let go?
If I reached for your hand,
would you take mine gently?
If I needed a shoulder,
would you let me cry on yours?
If I needed to scream,
would you do it with me?
If I needed to talk,
would you really listen?
If I needed to go,
would you come with me?
If I kissed you,
would you cherish that moment?
If I wanted to cut,
would you beg me to stop?
If I fell for you,
would you catch me?
or just let me hit the pavement?
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor blade
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
RepeatSit. Wait. Scribble. Erase.
Think. Pause. Wonder. Focus.
Inhale. Smoke. Exhale. Ghosts.
Remember. Shake. Forget. Regret.
Scream. Silence. Look. Alone.
Stand. Fall. Crumble. Repair.
Imagine. Return. Slump. Breathe.
Cry. Hurt. Compose. Continue.
Nobody has the answers
But everybody has the Y’s.
Speculations of a faultless green pasture,
Based on a line of best fit that was drawn to lie.
The solution is a sequence of random numbers and dates.
In addition to a complicated sum of love, grief, fear and hate.
Which form a unique equation that can never be revealed.
It’s the only bit of ignorance that still remains concealed.
Even though we may feel defenseless.
The possibilities are endless.
The opportunities are relentless.
Opinions become senseless
And still we lie restless.
Attempting to solve the unsolvable
And control the uncontrollable.
To know the unknowable.
Deathif i said i wanted to die
you would never understand
because the two terms we've come to identify
will never match
your death is finite
mine is equal to
levels of connectivity far beyond comprehension
and proportions more meaningful
in crimson hymns
sung in terms of endearment
lullabies for the lost children
the calling to return home
my death is forthcoming
laced in flickering flames
whispered in crashing palms on the face of earth
death to me is more than an end
it's a continuation
it's a prayer spoken with bones
etched under technicolor skin
in every sense it will ever be known.
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